Have you paid attention to the moments when you go through life on autopilot, living through life’s challenges by a series of knee-jerk reactions? As if an invisible force takes over, dictating your responses and leaving you feeling powerless. Whatever is on autopilot is in survival mode, and in survival mode we are under the control of old, unconscious patterns.
Victor Frankl probably has the most famous quote describing the answer to living on autopilot…
“In between stimulus and response there is a space. In this space lies our choice, and in this space lies our freedom.” – Victor Frankl
While this is true, quotes by themselves are always incomplete and these words make it sound like this space just exists automatically. It creates no understanding of how our fear response, by definition, will make this space evaporate because the need to survive doesn’t want us to stop and think.
How, exactly, do we access this space? How do we cultivate the ability to pause between impulse and action – this fleeting moment that holds the key to our freedom and the quality of our lives?
It’s important to understand that this space doesn’t magically appear, especially when we are under pressure. This space is cultivated, nurtured, and expanded through conscious practice.
In the next two quotes Stephen Batchelor and Bessel van der Kolk touch on the practical tools responsible for creating this spaciousness.
“Meditation is about embracing what is happening to this organism as it touches its environment in this moment.” – Stephen Batchelor
“Body awareness puts us in touch with our inner world, the landscape of our organism. Simply noticing our annoyance, nervousness, or anxiety immediately helps us shift our perspective and opens up new options other than our automatic, habitual reactions. Mindfulness puts us in touch with the transitory nature of our feelings and perceptions. When we pay focused attention to our bodily sensations, we can recognize the ebb and flow of our emotions and, with that, increase our control over them.” – Bessel van der Kolk
We have the choice to either react instantly from old patterns, or to respond thoughtfully from a place of consciousness. But this becomes a choice only when we have full awareness and acceptance of what’s happening within us, in this moment.
When I am able to recognize what in my environment is triggering me, and I can experience the reaction in my body and mind to this trigger without being overwhelmed, this is when I do have a choice over how I want to respond. Before this moment of recognition there was no choice, only an old pattern taking control.
Today’s meditation journey is a practical rehearsal of creating this inner spaciousness, increasing the space between stimulus and response, and exercising your ability to choose. This is where true freedom lies, in no longer being controlled by an old programme.
A few thoughts to reflect on as you expand your own spaciousness:
- Pause before you react. Take a moment to breathe and observe your thoughts and feelings.
- Embrace your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, without judgment or suppression.
- Let go of control. Surrender the need to force outcomes to be what you reactively decided they should be.
- Practice self-compassion. Be kind and gentle with yourself, especially during challenging times.
In the end, the choice is ours. We can remain trapped in the cycle of reactive behavior or embrace the power of the pause. By mastering this art, we can unlock our true potential and live a life of freedom, choice, and fulfillment.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: I am the mountain.