What does the road look like towards finding peace from internal conflict? Do we need “difficult” emotions to disappear, so that we can be free from those experiences? Or do we need to find a different way to understand our inner world?
Jeff Foster suggests no more wrestling with negative thoughts or desperately trying to outrun uncomfortable feelings. A life where every thought, every feeling, is welcomed with open arms.
“What you really long for is a deep intimacy with your own experience – the deepest acceptance of every thought, every sensation, every feeling. And that cannot come from outside of yourself.” – Jeff Foster
… a deep intimacy with your own experience… having acceptance for every thought and every feeling… in different words it can also be translated to: ‘not rejecting any part of yourself’.
“Stop trying to heal yourself, fix yourself, even awaken yourself. Stop trying to Fast Forward the movie of your life. Let go of ‘letting go’. Healing is not a destination. Your pain, your sorrow, your doubts, your longings, your fearful thoughts: they are not mistakes, and they are not asking to be ‘healed’. They are asking to be held. Here, now, lightly, in the loving, healing arms of present awareness.” – Jeff Foster
Your dark and fearful thoughts are not a mistake but a natural part of the human experience, so there’s no need to doubt yourself for having them. They’re not asking to be healed, they are asking to be held in healing arms.
“Feelings that have been pushed away do not actually disappear; they live on in the darkness of the Unconscious, pulling the strings in our relationships, our work, self-expression, causing us to become reactive, compulsive, obsessive, depressed, anxious, and deteriorate our physical health until one day, we remember, all feelings have a right to exist in us. So, we stop numbing ourselves, and feed them love, attention, curiosity and Presence. Now, they can finally come to rest.” – Jeff Foster
It’s understandable that we could have thoughts and feelings that scare us, that make us feel uncomfortable. And it’s understandable too that our instinctive reaction might be to try and avoid these scary feelings, to push them away in an attempt to feel less scared or uncomfortable.
The reality is that feelings that are pushed away don’t actually go away. They stay below the surface and pull the strings of our lives forever until we find a more helpful way of dealing with them.
Jeff Foster’s advice in this last quote is to really look at those feelings and allow them to speak, listen to them with curiosity and give them your attention and your love. You can come to a better understanding of why those feelings exist, and then you can build a new relationship with these emotions, and give them a space where they’re not trapped in your subconscious, unconsciously pulling the strings of your life.
This deep intimacy with your own experience is wholeness, because no part of you is being rejected any longer. This brings an end to the inner war. This creates true inner freedom.
A few thoughts to reflect on:
- Can I be curious about this feeling, rather than fearing it?
- What is this feeling trying to tell me?
- Can I offer myself some love and compassion in the midst of this feeling?
- Can I hold space for all the parts of myself, even the parts I don’t like?
This meditation is really practical and will help you hold and integrate difficult emotions. Please come and join us.
By cultivating this deep intimacy with your own experience, you move towards wholeness and inner freedom. The war within ceases, and in its place emerges a profound sense of peace and self-acceptance. Remember, your demons aren’t there to destroy you; they’re simply waiting to be understood and welcomed home.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self.