Fancy a quick shot of inspiration? This article is a zippy 2-minute read. But if you’re feeling like a super sleuth wanting to uncover all the secrets, our menu of extra goodies is just the place to dig in!
A message from today’s meditation:
REALNESS – being real, this really lights me up!
I don’t think that I was always like this, but something changed for me at some point in my own journey when I came to a deeper understanding of what it means to be human. It’s messy!
We were conceived in a messy puddle of human bodily fluid. For our whole lives we have daily routines to try and deal with our own constant presence of messy human bodily fluid. And then we go to the supermarket to buy toilet paper, tampons or condoms and we try and hide these from the view of people around us, so that they don’t see we have messy human bodily fluid to deal with on the daily… I’ve always found this rather silly, our pretending to one another that we’re not really human.
And this is just on the physical level, because the intangibles – the thoughts and feelings and emotions – are at least just as messy… but they are much easier to hide, easier to pretend that “I don’t have to deal with all THAT human messiness.”
“We can’t find our path without getting messy… I never found my way to clarity without first befriending confusion, in all its chaotic forms. I never found a path that felt like home, before falling into quick-sand first. I never established a new way of being, without trying the wrong way of being on for size… In the heart of chaos, is the clay that shapes us home. Chaotic Magnificence!” – Jeff Brown
“It’s not about giving up on the fairy tale relationship. It’s about landing the fairy tale in reality. It’s about giving the fairy feet. It’s about peeling away the prince’s armor and loving the human down below. It’s about wiping off the princess’s make-up and loving her divine humanness. It’s about finding romance in the naked fires of daily life. When our masks and disguises fall away, real love can reveal itself. Actually forget fairy tales – the human tale is much more satisfying. We just have to learn how to get turned on by humanness.” – Jeff Brown
“If you want to live a more spiritual life, live a more human life. Be more truly, fiercely, heartfully human.” – Jeff Brown
I’m not saying that we should wallow in our messiness, but it’s impossible to deal with what we’re pretending doesn’t exist. And when we continue to pretend that we’re not really human, we end up drowning in the messiness that we’re trying to ignore.
First accept, then act – Accept the part of you that needed those old patterns in order to feel like you could cope, and then choose how you want to act differently now. Choose how you want to BE differently now. But first accept that the “worst” parts of you have just been trying damn hard to keep you alive.
We can all learn to be turned on by real humanness, be authentic, and have more authentic relationships.
So how do we cultivate this love for authentic humanness? Here are a few mantras to guide your exploration:
- Acceptance is the First Step: Acknowledge the parts of yourself you’ve hidden away. Recognize these patterns were ways of trying to cope, and offer them compassion.
- Shift from Reaction to Choice: Once you’ve accepted, choose how you want to respond. How can you act with more authenticity? How can you be the truest version of yourself in your interactions?
- Celebrate Humanity in Others: Look for the realness in those around you. Appreciate their vulnerabilities, their quirks, and their imperfections.
By embracing our human messiness, we pave the way for deeper connections and a more fulfilling life. Let’s ditch the fairy tales and step into the vibrant, messy reality of human experience. After all, that’s where the real magic lies.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self.
A moment of reflection
(If you have the time, use this question as a journal prompt, because whenever you put pen to paper you’re wiring the neural pathways that create your new habits. But if you don’t have the time, just take a moment to reflect on your response.)
Mapping Your Hidden Self: Write about the aspects of your humanity you’ve been trying to hide or minimize. Consider both the physical realities (like the example of buying personal care items) and the emotional/mental ones (fears, insecurities, difficult emotions). What would it feel like to stop pretending these parts of you don’t exist? How much energy do you spend daily maintaining the facade that you’re “not really human”? Explore what drew you to create these masks in the first place, and what you imagine might happen if you slowly began to remove them.
Today’s LIVE meditation
https://youtu.be/SL_8Z44pytE 2025
https://youtu.be/X4xH0x1W-wU 2024
https://youtu.be/IBQGAARvQ6U 2023
https://youtu.be/hQHJwqBxpYA 2022
Q&A for deeper learning
1. Q: Doesn’t accepting my “messiness” mean I’m giving up on self-improvement?
A: Not at all. Accepting your humanness is actually the foundation for genuine growth. When you stop wasting energy pretending parts of yourself don’t exist, you can channel that energy into conscious change. The “first accept, then act” approach means acknowledging your patterns with compassion before choosing how to respond differently. You can’t heal what you won’t acknowledge.
2. Q: How is being “messy” different from just being irresponsible or making excuses?
A: There’s a crucial distinction between embracing your humanness and wallowing in dysfunction. Embracing messiness means accepting that growth is non-linear, emotions are complex, and perfection is impossible – while still taking responsibility for your choices and actions. It’s about self-compassion, not self-indulgence. You acknowledge your struggles without using them as excuses to avoid growth or harm others.
3. Q: What if I’ve built my whole identity around being “put together”? How do I start embracing messiness?
A: Start small and be patient with yourself. Begin by noticing where you perform perfection instead of being authentic. Perhaps share one small vulnerability with a trusted friend, or stop hiding a minor “imperfection” you usually conceal. Remember that your “put together” persona served a purpose – it helped you feel safe. Honor that while gradually exploring what it feels like to let others see more of your real self.
4. Q: How do I know the difference between healthy vulnerability and oversharing?
A: Healthy vulnerability comes from a place of self-awareness and choice, not desperation or manipulation. Ask yourself: Am I sharing this to deepen connection and authenticity, or am I seeking validation, attention, or trying to make someone else responsible for my emotions? Healthy vulnerability feels like an offering, not a demand. It’s also contextual – intimate details belong in intimate relationships.
5. Q: What if others judge me or pull away when I show my real self?
A: This is one of our deepest fears, and sometimes it does happen. However, people who can’t handle your authentic humanity aren’t your people. When you show up authentically, you naturally attract relationships that can hold the fullness of who you are. Yes, some relationships may change or end, but the connections that remain or develop will be far more satisfying and genuine.
6. Q: How can I learn to be “turned on by humanness” in others when their flaws annoy me?
A: Start by recognizing that what annoys you in others often reflects something you haven’t fully accepted in yourself. Practice looking for the humanity behind behaviors that irritate you – the fear, insecurity, or coping mechanism driving their actions. This doesn’t mean accepting harmful behavior, but rather seeing the person behind the behavior. Compassion is a skill that develops with practice.
7. Q: Is this approach compatible with spiritual or religious beliefs that emphasize transcending human nature?
A: Many spiritual traditions actually support this approach when understood deeply. True transcendence often comes through embracing rather than rejecting our humanity. The quote “If you want to live a more spiritual life, live a more human life” suggests that spirituality isn’t about escaping our humanness but about bringing consciousness to it. Most wisdom traditions teach compassion and acceptance – qualities that must begin with ourselves before extending to others.