“Your Daily Dose” is a quick two minute read packed with bite-sized wisdom from all the great teachers. But you could also choose to turn it into something more… a powerful daily practice for personal growth. Give it a try!
A message from today’s meditation:
For each of us, our responsibility is to focus on doing our own inner work, tend to our own garden and keep our opinions out of the gardening of others. However, none of us live isolated on an island. Our human experience is deeply intertwined through shared connections to the humans around us. While we are tending our own patch of soil we are naturally interacting with the people in our world, and so it’s helpful to expand our ability to see and to understand what we are seeing in those around us.
When it comes to maintaining healthy boundaries, there is a balance between remaining genuinely kind and compassionate while also protecting our own safety and sanity. Many of us struggle with this paradox, believing we must choose between being either aggressive and protective or compliant and meek. The truth is, the most powerful boundaries are those set from pure love. Love IS the intelligence – the wisdom – that holds this balance naturally.
“Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they’ve met themselves. This is the heart of clarity.” – Matt Kahn
“When viewing others as characters who have wronged us, a moment of personal abandonment occurs. Instead of remaining present to the sheer devastation that we may be feeling, a need to align with ego can occur through the blaming of others. While it seems nearly instinctive to see life as the comings and goings of how people treat us, this is the reaction from our ego, not the view of our soul.” – Matt Kahn
“From the standpoint of ego, life is a play of me versus you or us versus them. But from the soul’s perspective, characters are like instruments that help develop and uncover the melody of our highest vibration. Even when the friction of conflict seems to divide people, as souls we are working together to play out the exact roles to clear, activate, and awaken our true radiance.” – Matt Kahn
“What emotion do you wish for others to feel in your presence?” – Matt Kahn
When you frequently see other people as “the enemy”, you’re turning against your own true nature which wants connection and collaboration. When you’re identified with the ego then you’re not just caught up in a war with the world, but also in a war within yourself.
When you’re identified with soul you understand why people can be protective, defensive, aggressive and even hurtful. From the perspective of your soul it’s easy to see how people act from their own woundedness, hurting others and also themselves in the process. And while you may sometimes find it necessary to maintain a boundary, saying “no” from your soul always comes with kindness, even though it’s an immovable force.
Unless you live on a mountain top in solitude, other humans will always play a big role in your life, so upgrading the lens through which you understand people will only add to your own happiness and to the healing of the humans around you.
Setting boundaries is not about isolating yourself or punishing the other – it’s about nurturing well-being, while insisting on healthy connections.
Today’s meditation journey helps us see the humans around us through a lens of compassion, and reminds us that everyone is fighting a battle that we may know nothing about. Come and sit in the circle with us.
Mantras for self-reflection:
- “I choose to see others with compassion and empathy.”
- “I set boundaries from a place of kindness and self-care.”
- “I can set boundaries without being harsh or judgmental.”
- “Everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have.”
By cultivating a mindset of compassion, we can break down the barriers that divide us and create a world that is more connected, more harmonious, and more compassionate.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: Tonglen.
Today’s LIVE meditation
https://youtu.be/N-W5R5xD7nE 2025
https://youtu.be/VX_4GWWEVH8 2024
https://youtu.be/8DXBTzOdyos 2023
Practice the “Daily Dose”
Let’s put it into practice! Choose what works for you – daily, once a week or whenever inspiration strikes. Putting pen to paper wires the neural pathways that will create your new habits.
1 – Affirmation
Write down your favourite affirmation on a sticky note and place it somewhere that you’ll be able to see it the whole day.
- “I choose to see others with compassion and empathy.”
- “I set boundaries from a place of kindness and self-care.”
- “I can set boundaries without being harsh or judgmental.”
- “Everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have.”
2 – A moment of reflection
Use today’s question as a journal prompt. If you don’t have the time to sit down and write, just take a moment to reflect on your response.
The Mirror of Connection: Reflect on Matt Kahn’s insight: “People can only meet you, as deeply as they’ve met themselves.” Think of a recent interaction where someone couldn’t match your level of openness or understanding. Write about this experience from two perspectives: first from your ego’s viewpoint (what they did “wrong”), then from your soul’s perspective (what this reveals about their inner world and capacity). How does this shift in perspective change your feelings about the interaction?
3 – Quotes to share
Send a quote to someone who needs it, or share them all on social media to spread the good vibes!
4 – Q&A for deeper learning
Read through the questions and answers and write down at least one “aha moment” that clicked for you.
Q1: How can I set firm boundaries without being mean or harsh?
Ego reactions typically involve blame, seeing others as enemies, feeling like a victim, or wanting to punish. Soul responses come from understanding, seeing others’ actions as expressions of their woundedness, and choosing responses that honour both your needs and their humanity. Ask yourself: “Am I trying to prove I’m right, or am I trying to create healing?” Boundaries created from your ego tend to be harsh and punishing. Boundaries set by your soul are motivated by self-care and wisdom. It can be an immovable “no”, delivered with compassion and understanding – firm but not harsh.
Q2: What if someone can’t meet me at my level of openness? Should I lower my standards?
Not at all. This isn’t about lowering your standards; it’s about holding realistic expectations. Matt Kahn reminds us that “people can only meet you, as deeply as they’ve met themselves,” which means someone’s capacity to receive your openness reflects their own inner journey, not your worth. You can stay fully authentic while accepting that not everyone will be able to reciprocate, and this understanding allows you to respond with compassion rather than frustration. It also reminds us that while openness and vulnerability are a genuine superpower, not everyone you meet will have travelled far enough to truly meet themselves, and so not everyone has the capacity to hold space for what you share. That is why discernment matters: your vulnerability is a gift, and it’s wise to offer it to those who have earned it, rather than expecting it to be safely received by everyone.
Q3: How do I know if I’m reacting from ego or responding from soul?
A helpful place to start is by asking yourself what the foundation of your boundary is. If the reason is reactive – a response to what someone else is doing “wrong” – then it is likely coming from the ego. This kind of boundary is rooted in fear and self-protection, and it keeps your attention fixed on the other person’s behaviour, casting them as the character who has wronged you. If the foundation is proactive, a commitment to your long-term well-being and growth, then it is coming from the soul. This kind of boundary isn’t driven by what they did, but by what you are choosing to create in your life, and it means taking ownership of the life you’re building rather than guarding yourself against someone else’s actions. The two can look identical from the outside, and both may end in a firm “no,” but the energy behind them is very different. One is a defensive wall, while the other is a clear and caring commitment to yourself, which is why a soul-centered boundary can be held with kindness even while it is immovable.
Q4: Is it okay to feel compassion for someone who has hurt me?
Absolutely. Compassion doesn’t mean accepting harmful behavior or failing to protect yourself. It means understanding that people who hurt others are typically acting from their own pain and limited capacity. You can feel compassion for someone’s suffering while still maintaining clear boundaries about what behaviour you will and won’t accept. Compassion and boundaries can coexist beautifully.
Q5: How do I handle my anger when someone crosses my boundaries?
It helps to remember that a boundary is not a rule you set for another person to follow; it is an agreement you make with yourself. When we approach a boundary as “I insist that you change your behaviour,” we hand our power to someone else, because our peace now depends on whether they comply. That is why anger tends to rise again and again: every time they repeat the behaviour, the boundary is crossed and we are left frustrated and powerless. The alternative is to shift the focus from their actions to your own: “If you don’t change your behaviour, I will remove myself from the conversation.” This approach allows them to not change, which is their right, and it empowers you to take clear action whenever you need to. Your anger can then become useful information, a signal that an agreement with yourself needs honouring, rather than a fire you feed by trying to control someone else. You can act calmly and kindly, knowing that your well-being rests in your hands, not theirs.
Q6: What’s the difference between isolating and setting healthy boundaries?
Isolation pulls away from connection out of fear or hurt, often building walls to keep everyone out, while a healthy boundary protects your well-being and still insists on healthy connection. Sometimes, though, distance is the healthiest choice. Some people are so wounded that they have no consideration for your well-being, and when that is the case, permanent distance may be necessary. The difficulty is telling this apart from our own woundedness, which can overreact to the slightest mistakes and make an ordinary misstep feel like a betrayal. A few questions can help. Is this a single moment or a long-standing pattern? When you have communicated your needs clearly, is there any willingness to listen, take responsibility, or repair, or is your well-being consistently dismissed? Is your reaction proportional to what happened, or does it feel like an old wound being pressed? Giving yourself time, and talking it through with a trusted friend or therapist, can help you see more clearly. Someone who makes mistakes but shows care and a willingness to grow is usually someone you can stay connected to with good boundaries in place. Someone who shows no regard for you, again and again, may need to be loved from a distance. Even then, the choice can be made from the soul, with compassion for their pain, rather than as a punishment or a wall.
Q7: How can I maintain boundaries with family members or close friends who don’t respect them?
This one is mostly answered by Q6, please read thought it again. For this answer, let’s place the focus squarely on your own responsibility – how consistent are you? Ask yourself – Have I clearly communicated this boundary, or have I only hinted at it and hoped they would understand? And when it was crossed, did I follow through on what I said I would do? With family and close friends this matters even more, because they know us well and have years of history with how we react. If we sometimes hold the line and sometimes let it slide to keep the peace, we teach them, without meaning to, that the boundary is negotiable. Remember that a boundary is an agreement you make with yourself, so its strength comes from your consistency rather than from their compliance. State it calmly and specifically, without blame or a lecture, and then do what you said you would do, whether that means ending the conversation, leaving the gathering, or limiting the time you spend together, and do it with kindness rather than punishment. It may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if they push back, but a steady and loving “no” gradually becomes something people learn to trust. If you have communicated clearly and followed through consistently, and there is still no regard for your well-being, that is when the question of greater distance, explored in the previous answer, may need your attention.