We have all had experience in our past of being shown by people around us that “how we are” is not acceptable to them, and that we need to somehow change in order to be accepted. These experiences are what lead us to wear a mask, hiding how we really feel for the sake of acceptance.
Byron Katie’s suggestion for us today is that when each of us becomes the primary source of our own sense of acceptance, approval and appreciation, we free ourselves from the need to seek external validation.
“It’s not easy to find your own way when you believe that you need love, approval, appreciation, or anything from your family. It’s particularly hard when you want them to see things your way.” – Byron Katie
“When you say or do anything to please, get, keep, influence, or control anyone or anything, fear is the cause and pain is the result.” – Byron Katie
“If I had a prayer, it would be this: “God, spare me from the DESIRE for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen.” – Byron Katie
It is human nature to want to fit in, after all in human history if your tribe kicked you out, you were unlikely to survive on your own.
Even in the modern world that we live in today our bodies still remember this ancient truth, and it’s natural to feel fear when you sense rejection, and to incur deep wounds from these experiences.
Your work is to take on the task of BEING the acceptance that your wounded parts crave. You can reach out to the parts of yourself that have suffered shame, guilt and fear of abandonment and say, “I AM the one who is here to hold you. I AM the one who is here to love you. And I AM never pushing you away again.”
“Do you want to meet the love of your life? Look in the mirror.” – Byron Katie
There is – of course – nothing wrong with enjoying it deeply when we receive love, approval or appreciation from the people around us. Our body chemistry shows that we are at our absolute BEST when we are in healthy relationships.
But when YOU are the source of your love, your approval and the appreciation of YOU, you will stand in front of anyone as an equal, and never have the need to wear a mask again.
Consider these guiding mantras for self-reflection:
- I am worthy of my own love and acceptance, unconditionally.
- My value is intrinsic, not dependent on external validation.
- I release the need to please others at the expense of being myself.
- I cultivate self-compassion as a foundation for growth.
Let’s shed the masks that no longer serve us and step into the fullness of who we are. Let go of the need to prove yourself to others. Embrace your authenticity. You are enough, just as you are.
Join us for today’s journey and see if perhaps there is a mask that you have outgrown now.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: The masks we wear.