“Your Daily Dose” is a quick two minute read packed with bite-sized wisdom from all the great teachers. But you could also choose to turn it into something more… a powerful daily practice for personal growth. Give it a try!
A message from today’s meditation:
Have you ever felt like the harder you try to “let go” of something, the more it sticks?
We hear the term “letting go” regularly. We understand what is implied – not holding on to old emotions or emotional attachments – but in practice our “effort” to let go is so often not helpful as it seems the harder we try to reject these emotions, the more stubbornly they surface.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we are able to ‘let be’ with compassion, things come and go on their own.” – Jack Kornfield
And on this topic of letting go, it seems that one of the hardest “things” to let go of is our sense of what we think we need to control:
“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.” – Jack Kornfield
There are things that need doing and there are things that need not-doing, but when we are in a reactive state it’s impossible for us to see the difference. While we are reactive we hold on while we should let go, and we interfere when we should let be.
There are so many things that will come and also go regardless of whether we try and interfere or not, leaving us confused and tired with all our energy spent on nothing more than flailing around in our pond.
Isn’t it more productive to only spend our energy where it actually makes a difference? To only take action after checking in with the wisdom we all inherently have?
Today’s meditation is a practical experience of what it could mean to take a step back in order to see what requires doing and what requires not-doing.
I love the way in which Jack Kornfield speaks about how difficult it actually is to get all of this right, all of the time, he admits that constantly having the patience of a Zen Master is not easy. We are human after all, and we should do our best to be kind to ourselves especially when we get caught in these old traps again:
“If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate; you can fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill; if you can always find contentment just where you are: you are probably a dog.” – Jack Kornfield
You are doing your best! Love yourself in the moments when you nail this adulting thing and especially love yourself in the moments when it feels like all you do is fail – that’s when you need it the most.
So on the topic of “letting go” vs “letting be”, our meditation today is “I am the mountain”, and “I can be WITH this, whatever it is.”
Here are some mantras to remember on your journey of letting be:
- “I am the mountain.” Find your inner stability and strength.
- “I can be with this, whatever it is.” Accept the present moment, even the difficult parts.
- “You are doing your best!” Be kind to yourself, both in victories and perceived failures.
Remember, beautiful human, you are worthy of love and peace. Let go of the struggle for control. The only thing that you can control, is how you show up and do your best.
SO much love for you beautiful human!
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: I am the mountain.
Today’s LIVE meditation
https://youtu.be/_a0_7OBAVTw 2024
https://youtu.be/zx2_OVKszmg 2022
Practice the “Daily Dose”
Let’s put it into practice! Choose what works for you – daily, once a week or whenever inspiration strikes. Putting pen to paper wires the neural pathways that will create your new habits.
1 – Affirmation
Write down your favourite affirmation on a sticky note and place it somewhere that you’ll be able to see it the whole day.
- “I am the mountain.” Find your inner stability and strength.
- “I can be with this, whatever it is.” Accept the present moment, even the difficult parts.
- “You are doing your best!” Be kind to yourself, both in victories and perceived failures.
2 – A moment of reflection
Use today’s question as a journal prompt. If you don’t have the time to sit down and write, just take a moment to reflect on your response.
Exploring Control Patterns: Reflect on a current situation where you’re trying to control an outcome or another person’s choices. What would it look like to “assist, pray for them, and wish them well” without trying to force or otherwise control the result? What fears come up when you imagine stepping back?
3 – Quotes to share
Send a quote to someone who needs it, or share them all on social media to spread the good vibes!
4 – Q&A for deeper learning
Read through the questions and answers and write down at least one “aha moment” that clicked for you.
Q1: What’s the actual difference between “letting go” and “letting be”?
“Letting go” is often misunderstood as getting rid of emotions or forcing ourselves to stop caring. “Letting be” means allowing our experiences to exist without resistance, creating compassionate space for feelings to arise and pass naturally. As Jack Kornfield explains, when we let be with compassion, things come and go on their own—without our forceful intervention.
Q2: How can I tell when I’m trying too hard to control something?
Notice the signs of exhaustion, frustration, and repeated disappointment. When you’re trying to control things beyond your influence, you’ll often feel like you’re “flailing around” with lots of effort but little progress. Ask yourself: “Is my energy actually making a difference here, or am I just feeding my anxiety?” A reactive, anxious state often signals misplaced control efforts.
Q3: Does “letting be” mean I should just be passive and not care about outcomes?
Not at all. Letting be is about discernment, not indifference. You can still love, care for, assist, and support others while releasing the illusion that you can control their happiness or choices. It means acting from wisdom rather than fear, and recognizing that some things genuinely need your action while others need space to unfold naturally.
Q4: Why do difficult emotions seem to get stronger when I try to push them away?
What you resist, persists. The difficult emotions that we wish not to feel, typically exist within our fight-or-flight mode. So it becomes obvious to see that when we fight our emotions or try to reject them, we’re essentially telling ourselves that these feelings are dangerous and unacceptable, and this internal fighting will of course only push us deeper into fight-or-flight. Paradoxically, when we create space to “be with” difficult emotions without fighting them, we’re creating calmness and safety in our nervous system. With a bit of time big emotions lose their grip, and naturally dissipate.
Q5: How do I practice being “the mountain” when I feel overwhelmed?
Start by visualizing a mountain’s qualities: stable, grounded, unshaken by passing weather. When difficult emotions or circumstances arise, remind yourself: “I am the mountain. This feeling is like weather passing over me—it’s temporary, and my essential nature remains unchanged.” Then practice the phrase: “I can be with this, whatever it is,” allowing the experience to be felt without needing to fix it immediately.
Q6: What should I do when I fail at “letting be” and fall back into old controlling patterns?
Practice radical self-compassion. As Kornfield humorously reminds us, if you could remain perfectly calm and content in all circumstances, “you are probably a dog.” You’re human. You’ll get caught in old traps repeatedly—that’s part of the journey. The practice is to notice it without self-judgment and remind yourself: “You are doing your best.” Love yourself especially in the moments you perceive as failures.
Q7: Can I really not control my loved ones’ happiness?
This is one of the hardest truths to accept, but ultimately, no. As Kornfield teaches, while we can love, support, and care for others, their happiness and suffering depend on their own thoughts and actions, not on our wishes or efforts. This doesn’t diminish your love—it actually deepens it by freeing both you and them from the burden of impossible expectations. You can be a loving presence without being responsible for someone else’s inner state.