Have you ever felt like the harder you try to “let go” of something, the more it sticks?
We hear the term “letting go” regularly. We understand what is implied – not holding on to old emotions or emotional attachments – but in practice our “effort” to let go is so often not helpful as it seems the harder we try to reject these emotions, the more stubbornly they surface.
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we are able to let be with compassion, things come and go on their own.” – Jack Kornfield
And on this topic, one of the hardest “things” to let go of is our sense of the things we think we need to control:
“Peace requires us to surrender our illusions of control. We can love and care for others but we cannot possess our children, lovers, family, or friends. We can assist them, pray for them, and wish them well, yet in the end their happiness and suffering depend on their thoughts and actions, not on our wishes.” – Jack Kornfield
There are things that need doing and there are things that need not-doing, but when we are in a reactive state it’s impossible for us to see the difference. While we are reactive we hold on while we should let go, and we interfere when we should let be.
There are so many things that will come and also go regardless of whether we try and interfere or not, leaving us confused and tired with all our energy spent on nothing more than flailing around in our pond.
Isn’t it more productive to only spend our energy where it actually makes a difference? To only take action after checking in with the wisdom we all inherently have?
Today’s meditation is a practical experience of what it could mean to let things be, as we take a step back in order to see what requires doing and what requires not-doing.
I love the way in which Jack Kornfield speaks about how difficult it actually is to get all of this right, all of the time, he admits that constantly having the patience of a Zen Master is not easy. We are human after all, and we should do our best to be kind to ourselves especially when we get caught in these old traps again:
“If you can sit quietly after difficult news; if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm; if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy; if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate; you can fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill; if you can always find contentment just where you are: you are probably a dog.” – Jack Kornfield
You are doing your best! Love yourself in the moments when you nail this adulting thing and especially love yourself in the moments when it feels like all you do is fail – that’s when you need it the most.
SO much love for you beautiful human!
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: I am the mountain.
(image credit: Getty Images – Simon Lehmann https://www.gettyimages.ca/photos/simon-lehmann)