We’ve all heard the old saying, “know thyself.” But what does it mean to truly know oneself? Some parts of ourselves are easy to know, normally the parts of our personality that we enjoy. Perhaps who we are when we’re with friends, perhaps our sense of humour or our accomplishments. But then there are almost always parts of our “self” that we don’t like so much, and that we would rather not know. And the truth is we cannot really know ourselves without opening our arms to our shadow too.
“The freedom the Buddha envisioned does not come from jettisoning imprisoning thoughts and feelings, or from abandoning the suffering self – freedom comes from learning how to hold it all differently, juggling them rather than cleaving to their ultimate realities.” – Mark Epstein
To me, this realisation years ago was a paradigm shift!
While you are rejecting any part of YOU, you will not be whole. PERIOD. The road to wholeness is through finding acceptance for every single part of you, especially the “worst” parts. Nothing inside of you is “bad”, every part of you has in some way just been trying SO hard to help you cope.
“The willingness to face traumas – be they large, small, primitive or fresh – is the key to healing from them. They may never disappear in the way we think they should, but maybe they don’t need to. Trauma is an in-eradicable aspect of life. We are human as a result of it, not in spite of it.” – Mark Epstein
I LOVE that last sentence! “We are human as a result of our traumas, not in spite of them.”
Trauma does not just happen to a few unlucky people; it is the bedrock of our psychology. Death and illness touch us all, but even the everyday sufferings of loneliness and fear are traumatic. In his book “The Trauma of Everyday Life,” Mark Epstein uncovers the transformational potential of trauma, revealing how it can be used for the mind’s own development.
Our lived experience – our traumas – create the parts of our “selves” that we often have most difficulty with. For as long as we battle against these parts of ourselves, we’ll be trapped in war that we can’t win. Clearly, fighting is not the answer.
Holding, is what brings us to wholeness. Learning how to listen to what is crying inside. No longer rejecting – but accepting every part of you – is what leads to freedom from this war.
My wish for you is freedom. The kind of freedom you only realize when you notice that old triggers just don’t have the same hold on you that they used to have.
A few questions to help unlock true freedom:
- What are the parts of myself that I tend to reject or suppress?
- How can I approach these parts with more compassion and understanding?
- How do I develop love and acceptance for my shadow, without the fear of it controlling my life?
May you find the freedom to be yourself, flaws and all. Have a beautiful day!
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self.