Letting go… or hearing the words, “just let it go” is one of those disservices we do to ourselves and others while meaning really well. It feels like the right thing to say but we all have our own moments of struggling with our own personal example of not being able to let something go when we think, “how do other people do this, because I really struggle to let go.”
Preparing for this morning’s mediation I came across a thought by Adyashanti about letting go and I remembered a few other teachers saying something very similar. So I included the others as well for a few different perspectives on the same conundrum – how do we let go?
“The truth is you can’t try to let go. Trying is the opposite of letting go. To let go is to relinquish trying. To let go is much more like to let be.” – Adyashanti
“When people say “Let it go,” what they really mean is “Get over it,” and that’s not a helpful thing to say. It’s not a matter of letting go – you would if you could. Instead of “Let it go,” we should probably say “Let it be”; this recognizes that the mind won’t let go and the problem may not go away, and it allows you to form a healthier relationship with what’s bothering you.” – Jon Kabat-Zinn
“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means to let be. When we “let be” with compassion, things come and go on their own.” – Jack Kornfield
“I am no longer scared by dark feelings, because nothing is dark when it is fully allowed… nothing is denied and nothing stays.” – Amoda Maa
My personal mantra for letting it be is:
“Can I be with this? Can I just be with this without the need for this to change or go away? And while I sit with this, can I find that actually I am OK? And if I can be OK and just breathe right now, then I’ll be even better when this moves, because it always does.” – pierre
If this is something that you have been struggling with – if you’ve been looking around you and asking “how do other people do this?” – I would love you to understand how much of a universal struggle this is. Everyone has their own version of how difficult it can be to “let go”, and my favourite description of this truth comes from David Foster Wallace:
“Everything that I have ever let go of, has claw marks in it.” – David Foster Wallace
The myth of “letting go”.
The frustration with “letting go” often stems from the illusion that it’s a simple, one-time act. We imagine a switch we can flip, magically erasing negativity. The myth is that we can somehow force emotions to stay away.
This isn’t about forcing yourself to forget. It’s about acknowledging the presence of your emotions without judgment. By embracing the full spectrum of your emotions, you begin to disarm them. By allowing yourself to fully experience your emotions, you acknowledge their presence and create space for them to eventually pass.
Mantras for letting it be:
- Will I survive if I allow myself to just feel this now? (the answer is always yes)
- This feeling doesn’t define me.
- Everything is impermanent, even this emotion.
- I can choose how I respond to this.
- I am strong enough to feel whatever arises.
Letting go isn’t about pretending things didn’t happen. It’s about acknowledging their presence and choosing peace despite them. May this journey of “letting be” bring you strength and clarity.
Wishing you a damn beautiful day!
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: I am the mountain.