“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he is suffering deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
These two quotes seemingly point in opposite directions. One talks about looking at another person, “he doesn’t need punishment he needs help”, and the other speaks of looking at myself, “you need to accept yourself”. But there is a common thread here – what causes the “suffering deeply within himself” in the other, and “lack of acceptance” within myself, is likely very similar, a deep inner woundedness.
Thich Nhat Hanh speaks beautifully about attending to our wounded inner child, which is most often the root cause of all the things we struggle with.
“To take good care of ourselves, we must go back and take care of the wounded child inside of us. You have to practice going back to your wounded child every day. You have to embrace him or her tenderly, like a big brother or a big sister. You have to talk to him, talk to her. And you can write a letter to the Little child in you, of two or three pages, to show that you recognize his or her presence, and will do everything you can to heal his or her wounds. When you climb a beautiful mountain, invite your little child within to climb with you. When you contemplate the beautiful sunset, invite him or her to enjoy it with you. If you do that for a few weeks or a few months, the wounded child in you will be healed. Mindfulness is the energy that can help us to do this.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
Finding acceptance for every part of you changes everything. When you understand how every part of you came into being, it’s clear to see how everything inside of you has been doing its best to help you survive. When you see yourself differently, you start to speak to yourself differently, and your inner narrative becomes one of empowerment.
When you have this level of self acceptance, then it brings you full circle back to the first quote again, being able to really see another. And recognize that so much of what drives the humans around us is the result of their struggling to deal with a wounded inner child.
Doing your work, healing your own wounded parts, makes you able to give the humans around you the space they need to take a look at their own selves without fear of judgement.
Mantras for your journey:
- Tend your inner garden. Nurture your wounded child with self-compassion.
- Rewrite your inner script. Shift from judgment to empowerment.
- See others through a lens of compassion. Recognize their struggles as echoes of your own.
- Be the change. Heal yourself, heal the world.
Thank you for showing up! Thank you for doing your own work.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self