What’s been known forever is that we need adversity in order to grow. When you go to gym and expose your muscles to doing what they haven’t done before, then they’re forced into making adaptations and become stronger.
All of our growth is like this.
“Through difficult experiences, life sometimes becomes more meaningful.” – Dalai Lama
“The period of greatest gain in knowledge and experience is often the most difficult period in one’s life.” – Dalai Lama
It is however also possible to feel no growth at all from difficult experiences, just pain with seemingly no sense to it, and for this, the most helpful skill I have found is the ability to be “the observer” of myself.
This could also be called “the witness” or in Buddhist tradition, “naked awareness”.
Can I step outside of myself and see myself? Can I pay attention to what I’m thinking and feeling? Can I watch what it is that I am busy doing?
Naked awareness necessitates that I be able to witness without judgement and without criticism, can I look at myself just like looking at data, creating a space for understanding and clarity to grow.
Most of us have experienced a situation or a time in our lives where it feels like “I am drowning”. It feels like I’m getting hit by wave after wave with no chance of coming up for air before the next wave pushes me down again.
While being the observer it’s as if I’ve been lifted just a little bit higher and I have a clearer view of myself, “I can see that at this moment I FEEL as if I’m drowning, fighting wave after wave.” Seeing from this higher perspective doesn’t change the situation and it doesn’t change how I feel, but it certainly changes what I believe about what I am feeling.
I can see more clearly that my feelings are temporary, and that I have the power to choose how I respond to them.
Becoming better at being the observer gives me the space to make better decisions, to be a better support for myself and also being better equipped to ask more clearly for the assistance I might need.
“Although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation.” – Dalai Lama
“Try to improve. Don’t expect too much, but don’t feel discouraged either; keep up your enthusiasm; you will make progress.” – Dalai Lama
When we look back this journey really IS beautiful even the parts where we’ve struggled, but it’s important to remember that progress comes in baby steps. Don’t expect too much from yourself, and be sure to really love yourself HARD through the difficult parts.
A few tools to consider adding to your toolbox in times of adversity:
- Embrace the Storm: Welcome challenges as opportunities for growth.
- Witness Your Experience: Observe your thoughts and feelings without judgement.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially during difficult times.
- Take Baby Steps: Progress takes time. Celebrate small victories.
- Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to others for help and guidance.
While it may not always be pleasant, adversity always offers us a unique opportunity to learn and grow. By embracing challenges and cultivating a mindful approach, we can transform suffering into strength.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: The observer.