Today’s journey takes us through our relationships with the people around us, and the world at large.
A few years ago I had a clear realization of how our “survival self” is primed to “discriminate”. The most primitive part of our brain is hardwired for survival and ready to cast suspicion on anything and anyone that seems different, or “not from our tribe.”
I grew up in a time during which – in South Africa – the word “discrimination” became the ultimate insult, and was associated with “the bad guys”, the old government and their “evil” worldview.
I really love humans and I am forever a student of how we develop and what makes us do what we do, and I have learned that discrimination is not just what the bad guys do, we are all capable of it, in fact it is probably our default setting.
Our “survival self” is primed to discriminate. We have an ancient and inherent need for survival from a time long ago when almost any stranger we’d come across would pose an existential threat.
Any stranger? Yes.
Anyone from your own tribe would naturally be known to you, and anyone you do not know would therefore be from another tribe. Coming across a stranger would have to set off all of the alarm bells!
If you were to go out to the grocery store today, how many strangers would you encounter? And how many of them would legitimately pose a threat?
Probably none of them but we still carry this same ancient programming, this knee jerk discrimination that divides people into “tribe” and “other” in order to establish our own safe in-group in opposition to the unsafe out-group.
We have this instinct in common with all animals and therefore it’s clear that – while this is at times necessary for survival – this is a part of our “lower nature”.
And then this is how we are different from animals, we have the ability to transcend our lower nature, to see beyond just our own survival and reach for the greater good of all.
I realized that every time I point a finger and create an “Us Vs Them”, I am a part of the problem. I am contributing to the division in the world. This doesn’t necessarily make the trouble in the world any easier to deal with, but it leaves me with one option only and I like it… the only option left to me is, “how do we do this together?”
We are never going to build a better world while we leave anyone behind. The only way this works is if we are able to open our hearts and also reach the hearts of those who we completely disagree with.
I’m not trying to say it’s easy, but this is the only option I have left open for myself and I am extremely comfortable with that.
“We have to create conditions where people feel safe to feel and to care. That goes against a lot of our programming about how to make something change in the world. Sometimes you can pressure people into changing, you can force them, but the powers-that-be have more force than we do. I don’t think we’re going to win in a contest of force. I think we need to induce a change of heart. The narrative of “us versus them” is ultimately part of the problem. Traditional activism, which is about overcoming the latest bad guy, isn’t deep enough. It just brings us another version of the same.” – Charles Eisenstein
“When both sides of a controversy revel in the defeat and humiliation of the other side, in fact they are on the same side: the side of war.” – Charles Eisenstein
“Are the problems of the world caused by bad people who need to be crushed? Or do people do bad things when they are in a certain situation? If it is the latter, then we can go around crushing the villains for another thousand years and nothing will change.” – Charles Eisenstein
Mantras for a More Unified World
- I choose to see beyond differences and embrace our shared humanity.
- My actions and words will build bridges, not walls.
- Every interaction is an opportunity for connection and understanding.
- Together, we can build a more peaceful and inclusive world.
By quieting the “us vs. them” chatter and opening our hearts, we pave the way for a future built on unity, not division. This journey starts with each of us, with every conscious choice to bridge the gap and connect.
May your heart be filled with peace.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: Tonglen.