For a moment let’s talk about “self-sabotage”.
The nature of my work requires regular conversations about this topic which I think is an unfortunate label. The term self-sabotage means that a person is deliberately getting in their own way. That there is a part of their personality that doesn’t want them to be successful, and deliberately prevents them from taking the actions that would move them closer to their goals. As in, “you are the one sabotaging your own happiness!” In my experience this creates only more shame, more guilt, more hopelessness, and hardly ever leads to improvement in any form of wellbeing.
I completely disagree with this terminology, however, it is important for us to understand how it is that we DO get in our own way.
Nothing within us, wants to sabotage our future. But we all have old behaviour that did in fact help us “feel safe” in the past. And to our subconscious (which is wired for survival) anything that has created a sense of safety is regarded as successful for survival. While objectively, that old behaviour doesn’t serve us right now, “successful” patterns of the past will be played on repeat in an attempt to find safety again.
So not self-sabotage, but self-preservation that needs to evolve.
“Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darkness’s of other people. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” – Carl Jung
“Real liberation comes not from glossing over or repressing painful states of feeling, but only from experiencing them to the full.” – Carl Jung
“Wholeness is not achieved by cutting off a portion of one’s being, but by integration of the contraries.” – Carl Jung
“In every adult there lurks a child – an eternal child, something that is always becoming, is never completed, and calls for unceasing care, attention, and education. That is the part of the personality which wants to develop and become whole.” – Carl Jung
The practical result of “bringing into the light the aspects of our SELF that were previously held in darkness” is this… now that we’re not hiding and trying to look away, we can see with some clarity exactly how an old part of us is just trying to find safety. And now that we’re not at war with our SELF, we can effectively help a trapped inner child to evolve.
On your journey of of building a deeper sense of SELF, consider these guiding mantras:
- Embrace Your Shadows: Acknowledge and accept all aspects of yourself, both light and dark.
- Listen to Your Inner Child: Pay attention to your emotions and needs, and treat yourself with kindness and compassion.
- Cultivate Self-Awareness: Practice mindfulness and introspection to gain deeper insights into your thoughts and behaviours.
- Embrace Change: Be open to new experiences and perspectives, and don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.
Join us for today’s journey, allow your inner child to speak, and find out who you are being when you’re able to sit and listen. By understanding the root causes of emotions we can begin to shift our perspective, and Instead of berating ourselves for our failures, we can approach them with compassion and understanding. We can learn to offer ourselves the love and support needed to heal old wounds and cultivate a more empowered sense of self.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self.