Here’s a little inspiring nugget that’ll take you about 2 minutes to chew on. Now, if you’re hungry for the whole story and want to become a true connoisseur of this topic, our menu has all the delicious details you can handle!
A message from today’s meditation:
Have you ever wondered how we can create a world in which people judge and criticize each other less? How do we move closer to a world in which we all allow one another to be human?
That’s a tall order right? But could we at least see a starting point? How would we start taking a step in the right direction? Swami Vivekananda has some great advice for us on the first step – we start by each taking a good look at ourselves, and learning to love the human in the mirror a little more every day.
“If I love myself despite my infinite faults, how can I hate anyone at the glimpse of a few faults.” – Swami Vivekananda
The sad truth is that for the most part we were all taught the following lesson, “no you’re not allowed to just be human!” We all hold too much shame, guilt and self judgement over everything that we’ve ever done ‘wrong’, and it’s only when we can look at our own shortcomings with kindness that we’re able to allow the people around us to also just be human.
So how do we create a kinder inner narrative? How do we look upon ourselves with kindness, especially since we are all so flawed?
“Talk to yourself at least once in a day… otherwise you may miss a meeting with an EXCELLENT person in this World.” – Swami Vivekananda
The self-kindness that emanates from this perspective is revolutionary. He’s suggesting that we should cherish every interaction with our “self” – that we are, in fact, excellent beings worthy of our own time and attention.
This advice is actually quite practical. This is literally what I do with clients every day. Does it sound strange to deliberately talk to yourself?
Here’s a question for you: in the moments when your inner-critic is very loud… how do you talk to yourself…? Most of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves in our heads.
It tends to be true that talking to ourselves harshly comes quite naturally, yet it seems ‘weird’ to deliberately talk to ourselves in a positive way. When we don’t consciously create an empowering inner narrative, then we are left with only the wounded inner voices that we took on board in childhood.
The truth is, creating a kinder inner narrative takes practice. We’ve all spent years (perhaps even decades) accumulating those old, critical voices. And just like any other skill, it takes conscious effort and repetition to create and reinforce a new, supportive inner narrative.
So notice your harsh self-talk without judgment. Instead of “I’m a failure,” try reframing: “This was a setback, but I can learn from it and try again.” Every time you choose self-compassion over self-criticism, you’re not just healing yourself – you’re contributing to a world where humanity is allowed to be beautifully, imperfectly human.
A few thoughts for self-reflection:
- Acknowledge your inner critic. Notice the harsh self-talk without judgment.
- Reframe the narrative. Instead of “I’m a failure,” try “This was a setback, but I can learn from it and try again.”
- Extend self-compassion. Imagine talking to a friend in that situation. What words of encouragement would you offer them? Use those same words for yourself.
- Focus on progress, not perfection. We are all works in progress. Celebrate your efforts and growth.
Remember, a kinder inner voice ripples outward. By treating ourselves with compassion, we create space for a more accepting and compassionate world for everyone.
Join-in on today’s meditation to learn how to become more deliberate about your own inner-narratives.
– pierre –
Today’s LIVE meditation is: A sense of self.
A moment of reflection
(If you have the time, use this question as a journal prompt, because whenever you put pen to paper you’re wiring the neural pathways that create your new habits. But if you don’t have the time, just take a moment to reflect on your response.)
The Inner Critic Investigation: Write about a recent moment when your inner critic was particularly loud. What specific words or phrases did it use? Now, imagine your dearest friend came to you with the exact same situation and feelings. What would you say to them? How would your tone differ? Write out both conversations side by side and reflect on the stark contrast. What would it feel like to consistently speak to yourself with the same compassion you naturally extend to others?
Today’s LIVE meditation
https://youtu.be/yIs-SzMthZI 2025
https://youtu.be/JxgOGOY_9nU 2024
https://youtu.be/PhXvf6Aazm4 2023
https://youtu.be/HpNYJb9Uk0Y 2022
Q&A for deeper learning
1. Q: Why does positive self-talk feel so unnatural when harsh self-criticism comes so easily?
A: This happens because most of us learned critical self-talk patterns in childhood, often from well-meaning adults who thought criticism would motivate us. These neural pathways have been reinforced for years or decades. Positive self-talk feels foreign because it’s a newer skill that requires conscious practice to develop. Just like learning any new language, it takes time and repetition to become fluent in self-compassion.
2. Q: Isn’t self-compassion just making excuses for bad behavior or laziness?
A: Self-compassion is actually the opposite of making excuses. It’s about acknowledging mistakes and shortcomings with kindness while still taking responsibility for growth. When we’re harsh with ourselves, we often get stuck in shame and self-criticism rather than learning. Self-compassion allows us to see failures as learning opportunities and motivates us to do better from a place of self-respect rather than self-attack.
3. Q: How can loving myself despite my “infinite faults” help me become a better person?
A: When we accept our flaws with compassion, we create psychological safety for honest self-reflection. This allows us to see our mistakes clearly without the defensive reactions that harsh self-judgment triggers. From this place of acceptance, we can make conscious choices about what to change. Additionally, as Swami Vivekananda suggests, when we extend this same grace to ourselves, we naturally become more tolerant and understanding of others’ imperfections.
4. Q: What does it practically mean to “talk to yourself at least once a day”?
A: This means having intentional, conscious conversations with yourself—checking in on your thoughts, feelings, and needs with the same care you’d show a good friend. It could be through journaling, meditation, or simply pausing to ask yourself, “How am I really doing today?” The key is approaching yourself with curiosity and kindness rather than judgment, treating this daily check-in as a valuable appointment with an “excellent person.”
5. Q: How do I identify and change the “wounded inner voices” from childhood?
A: Start by noticing when your inner critic sounds like someone specific from your past—a parent, teacher, or peer. Ask yourself: “Whose voice is this really?” Then practice responding to that voice with adult wisdom and compassion. You might say, “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I’m capable of handling this now.” Gradually replace these old scripts with more supportive, realistic perspectives that honor both your humanity and your growth.
6. Q: Why is it so hard to focus on progress rather than perfection?
A: Our culture often rewards perfectionism and achievement while overlooking effort and growth. Additionally, perfectionistic thinking can feel safer because it gives us an illusion of control. However, focusing on progress acknowledges that we’re all “works in progress” and that learning involves making mistakes. This shift requires consciously celebrating small wins and viewing setbacks as information rather than failures.
7. Q: How does my self-compassion really create a ripple effect in the world?
A: When you treat yourself with kindness, you model self-acceptance for others and become less reactive to their flaws. You’re more likely to offer patience and understanding because you’ve learned to extend it to yourself. This creates a safer emotional environment where others feel permission to be human too. Additionally, people who practice self-compassion tend to be more emotionally available and less defensive in relationships, contributing to more authentic and supportive communities.